The Motherhood Penalty is a term which refers to the systemic disadvantages faced by mothers in the workplace including pay, benefits, and career advancements.

Approximately 250,000 working women with children under four years old leave their jobs due to the struggle juggle between work and childcare according to the Fawcett Society.

As a mother who has just started my second maternity leave in less than two years, I feel this is a particularly close subject to my heart.

Upon reflection of the ‘motherhood penalty’ on my personal life, I do believe that both of my pregnancies and maternity leave have negatively affected my career advancements in terms of promotions, decent raises, and even bonuses. Maybe a coincidence, maybe not!  

However, below are a few tips which I am implementing to do my very best to not let these young mothering years have a long-lasting impact on my career. 

Remember your value 

It is extremely easy to fall into the trap of believing you’re less efficient or useful than colleagues who are peddling ahead in their careers without breaks due to motherhood. However, we really do all have different strengths, and we (mothers) are not less than because we took some time out to raise the next generation.  

In fact, after my first maternity leave, I found that I had a new appreciation for work, improved efficiency, and a refreshed approach with a fresh lens. 

Instead of focussing too hard on perceived shortcomings, remember you have the job you do for a reason, and there are things you bring to the table that perhaps someone else could not. Self-doubt can prohibit your ability to advocate for yourself for career opportunities and advancements, so you must keep the value you add at the forefront of your mind! 

Shrink the pension gap! 

In the UK, the pension gap between men and women remains quite large to this day. The 2024 gender pension gap report found that on average women retire with a pension pot of £69,000 compared to £205,000 for men. The report goes on to conclude that career gaps due to the likes of childcare lead to an average ten-year career gap resulting in a £39,000 loss in pension savings. 

The amazing thing about pensions during maternity leave is despite your reduced pay and therefore reduction in pension contributions, your employer still has to contribute the same amount to your pension whilst you’re on maternity pay.  

Depending on the type of pension scheme you are enrolled in, such as salary sacrifice, your employer may still have to make pension contributions even in periods of no maternity pay.

Therefore, it is best to check with your employer how your pension contributions will be treated during your maternity leave. At the very least, do your best to not reduce your personal pension contributions during maternity leave so your pension can still continue to grow at a decent rate. 

Keeping-In-Touch (KIT) 

I think a really useful tool for mothers on maternity leave is to make use of the up to 10 keeping-in-touch (KIT) days available to us. These days allow you to reconnect with work and get paid in full on top of your maternity pay without stopping your maternity leave.  

It will be up to you and your employer to decide the use of your KIT days. One way I maximised this time was by completing a 3-day intensive training that added a great boost to my CV and provided me with additional skills I could put into practice upon my return to work.

I loved the feeling of being able to achieve something for my career whilst on maternity leave, which in turn also benefitted my employer. 

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At one point, I found myself drowning in over £36,000 of debt. On my blog, tolufrimpong.com, I openly share my debt journey, discussing its impact on my marriage and friendships.

However, one topic I haven’t delved into deeply is the mum guilt that came with being in debt. 

Mum guilt hit me hard. I felt awful about not being able to buy my young child and newborn the latest gadgets and gizmos.

I couldn’t take them on holidays or afford the exciting experiences I saw other mums and influencers enjoying with their kids on Instagram. The guilt of failing financially and the fear of potentially making my children homeless was overwhelming. 

During our debt-free journey, my husband worked a lot of overtime, and I took on multiple side hustles. This meant we had less time to spend with our children, which only intensified my mum guilt.

Overcome mum guilt

Now, having achieved debt freedom and overcome that guilt, I want to share five things I wish I had known and done to reduce or eliminate the guilt. 

1. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination 

I was so laser-focused on achieving debt freedom that I lost sight of the present. There was no balance, and as a result, I missed out on precious family time. Those years of my children’s early childhood are now a blur. It’s crucial to enjoy the journey and make time for your family, even when you’re working towards financial goals. 

2. Remember your why 

You’re paying off this debt to ensure a brighter future for your children. That’s an amazing and responsible thing to do. Your children will be proud of you for taking accountability and making sacrifices to improve their future. Keep this in mind whenever guilt starts to creep in. 

3. Be intentional with your time 

If you’re working overtime or side-hustling to pay down debt, your time with your children is limited. Make sure the time you do spend with them is intentional and undistracted. Give them your undivided attention—this means putting your phone away and being fully present in the moment. 

Read more from Tolu Frimpong on Mouthy Money

4. Find frugal fun 

You don’t need to spend a lot of money to create great memories with your children. Find creative and frugal ways to have fun together. Bake, cook, build a fort, go on a hike—there are countless ways to enjoy quality time without breaking the bank. 

5. Speak to a trusted friend or family member 

A problem shared is a problem halved. We are often our own worst critics. Talking to someone you trust can help alleviate your guilt. They can offer perspective, support, and encouragement when you’re feeling down and beating yourself up. 

6. Create a vision board 

A vision board can help keep the bigger picture in mind on days when guilt creeps in about not being able to afford expensive trips and things. Visualise your long-term goals: being debt-free, thriving, and able to provide your children with the dream life you all deserve. This can provide motivation and remind you of the positive future you’re working towards. 

Photo credits: Pexels

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